My story really only starts when my father died. He was a member of the Imperial Watch, and he was killed trying to arrest a thief who turned out to be a Vampire. My mother mourned for the required period, and started dating again. After a while she found another man she liked and re-married. That was Viator Accius, the proprietor of Stonewall Shields. We moved into his shop and I started to attend the Arcane University.

My stepfather wasn't too happy about that. He knew what my mother was like, and he assumed I'd be like her, and chasing after men if I got the chance. But my mother assured him that I'd be kept too busy with my studies. I was only there during the day, and I wasn't allowed out in the evenings, so that was all too true.

But I did get to meet a lot of intelligent young men, who were eager to help with my virginity problem, but we were watched too closely at the University. The closest I got to success was when one of them learned a nice long-lasting invisibility spell. I took him home with me to the Market District, and he cast the spell just outside the shop. We entered, and I led him up to my room. I opened all the doors and closed them behind us, so he wouldn't have to do anything to make him visible.

I think it was closing the doors that made my stepfather suspicious. He was always shouting at me to come back and close doors, and that evening he didn't have to. Anyway, he must have followed us.

I took off my dress and lay down on my bed, ready for my lover-to-be. But just as he touched me, he became visible again, and the door burst open. I screamed and covered myself up, as Stepfather chased him out of the window. He had the presense of mind to cast his invisibility again when he landed, so nobody could see which way he ran off. Or that he was naked.

Well I wasn't going to be allowed to go back to the University after that fiasco. Mother suggested sending me away to stay with her sister down in Leyawiin. That would keep me away from the mage students I'd been plotting with, and Aunt Rosentia could teach me a few things, too. She was quite an expert on Daedric artifacts and knew a number of conjuration spells that I could learn.

We all traveled down to Leyawiin and Mother explained to her sister what had happened back in the city. Aunt Rosentia promised she'd take proper care of me and my virginity, and my stepfather appeared to be content with that. They returned to the city the same day.

Aunt Rosentia took me shopping. She thought I needed a new dress, as I couldn't keep wearing my University robe if I wasn't going there any more. She bought me a nice suit of armor too, in case I needed some adventure. It didn't look like it would protect me much, but it did look pretty.

At that time, she was a bit preoccupied with cleaning her house. Apparently, she'd had Scamps living in her home and they had left a nasty smell behind. She was still trying to get rid of it. I told her I couldn't smell anything, but she kept scrubbing the floors, and bringing in fresh lavender.

She told me that she'd bought a staff from a spellsword that had passed through the town. He'd asked for a suspiciously low price, but she she couldn't resist the bargain, and bought it. Then she noticed an inscription on it in runes. It wasn't a real word, but she could read it phonetically and pronounce it. When she did, the Scamps appeared!

After she realized they weren't going to harm her, she tried to drive them out of the house, but they just followed her everywhere. They were following the staff, but she couldn't put it down. Eventually she got word to her friend Alves at the mages guild, who researched the item for her.

The Staff of the Everscamp was created by Sheogorath to drive its owner insane, and it was working. She could only let go of the staff if someone else would willingly take it from her, or if it was returned to his shrine in Darkfathom Cave.

Fortunately, before long a hero had arrived to do that for her. He'd taken the staff to the cave and the scamps with it. She was so grateful, and gave him a ring she'd bought for an ex-lover who hadn't worked out so well. She was expecting him to visit again, and I got the impression that she had another reward to give him.

When he arrived, Aunt Rosentia introduced us. "This is my niece Virgilia, who's staying with me until she grows up a bit. I hope that won't take her too long".

It was the Hero of Kvatch! No wonder he'd had no problem sorting out Auntie's scamps for her. I was a bit eager and asked him if I could go along with him on his next adventure. Auntie thought that wasn't a bad idea and sent me upstairs to change into my new armor. "Take your time," she told me, "We have a lot to discuss while you're changing, and you need to make sure all the straps are done up properly."

When I came back down, the Hero looked at my armor and raised an eyebrow. He walked around me slowly, appraising it carefully. "Alright, let's go!" he said "Did you have anywhere in mind?"

The only place I knew to explore was somewhere called Barren Mine a short way north of towm. I'd heard someone say that there were goblins there, and I'd never seen one of those before.

We left town through the North-East gate and headed up the road, with the Hero following me. After a while, he decided it would be better if he lead the way, so he could concentrate on watching out for wild animals.

That was all right with me, as it wasn't easy to stride along looking confident in those high heels, and the back of my armor does show a lot of skin! Well the front does too, but he'd need eyes in the back of his head - like my stepfather had!

We reached the mine and slipped inside the door into the dark tunnel. I was quite excited at being alone in the dark with a man, but that was all ruined by a screeching, smelly creature who ran at me with an axe! I pulled my claymore off my back and defended myself as best I could, but there were too many of them. Something hit me on the back of the head and it all went black.

When I woke up my head hurt and the smell wasn't making it feel any better. There were several of the foul creatures lying dead, one of them on top of me. My armor wasn't covering everything it should, and I had to wriggle it all back into place. The Hero was watching with considerable amusement, and I was totally embarassed.

I wanted to go back to town, right away. We abandoned our exploration and headed back. It was just as well, my sword was bent, my armor dented, and I had a headache. And my boots may have looked good, but they weren't meant for comfort.

When we got back to town, he asked if I'd learned anything from our trip. I told him I never wanted to see a goblin again. He asked about my impractical armor, and what I thought it was good for.

"Aunt Rosentia said it would be perfect for the type of adventure I needed" I replied. "But it was useless for fighting goblins".

"That's because she was thinking of a completely different sort of adventure" he told me. "The kind that happens when men notice how pretty you are. And that armor was intended to make them notice. Does it unfasten easily too?"

I felt so stupid! I'd assumed that Aunt Rosentia was supposed to be holding me back, but she was really on my side! I was about to run back to her house and apologize for misjudging her, but the Hero said she might be busy.

I didn't understand that either, at the time.

We talked a bit more, and he asked me if it was my mother who'd sent me down to Leyawiin. I replied that it had been her idea, and he nodded. "I'd better go have a word with her," he said. "First though, we should go get some breakfast at the tavern."

I got back to Aunt Rosentia's just in time to see a stranger leaving the house. A rather good-looking man, with a smile on his face. When I went inside, Auntie was sitting at the breakfast table, wearing a thin night-dress.and an even bigger smile than the man's.

By the time the Hero returned from the city, I wasn't the same girl he'd left. I could call myself a woman now, Auntie reminded me. Once we'd cleared up the misunderstanding, she'd been able to help me to ... achieve my goals. Maybe she'd been too successful, as Leyawiin wasn't a large town, and there really weren't enough men to go round.

Our mutual hero had a solution for that problem. He'd talked to my mother, who had no objection at all to what he suggested. When he told me about Gweden, it sounded like the perfect answer.

"Bring your armor" he told me "you might get to use it again."

I did bring it, but it just reminds me of goblins. I hate goblins.